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WORLDCLASS COMEDIANS JERRY SEINFIELD & GERRY GAF’S SACASMS GAVE ADVERTISING GURUS “THE WET WINGS” AT THE 55TH CLIO AWARDS IN NEW YORK.

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Friday, 03 October 2014
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Whoopi Goldberg the official moderator for this year’s CLIO AWARDS brought the funny all
evening but Jerry Seinfeld brought
down the house with a brilliant, hilarious speech
about why he loves advertising—which ended up in
being a blistering anti-advertising rant that
comically eviscerated the business.
Jerry Seinfield
“I love advertising because I love lying,” Seinfeld
began. And he only got more brutally honest from
there.
“I just want to enjoy the commercial. I want to get
the thing,” he said. “We know the product is going
to stink. We know that because we live in the
world, and we know that everything stinks. We all
believe, ‘Hey, maybe this one won’t stink.’ We are a
hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But we’re
happy in that moment between the commercial and
the purchase. And I think spending your life trying
to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings
to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items
and services is an excellent use of your energy.”
Seinfeld also mentioned the debacle that happened
at the 1991 Clio Awards, when greedy attendees
rushed the stage in a mad grab for Clios they hadn’t
won. That’s his favorite award-show story, Seinfeld
said, because it’s so honest.
There were roars of laughter—because of course,
Seinfeld is hardly an innocent party when in the ad
game. He’s done plenty of lying and duping over
the years, most recently for Acura, and was getting
an Honorary Award for that work last night. (He
also thanked Ogilvy & Mather and American
Express for getting him into the business to begin
with.)
But while most attendees agreed the speech was the
highlight of the night, there may have been a few
hurt feelings here and there. As an award winner
said in his speech later in the night, “Apparently
everything I do is meaningless. But it was Jerry
Seinfeld who said it, so I suppose that makes it OK

Gerry Graf his counterpart and also the founder of Barton F. Graf 9000/genuine smartass used the occasion of
defining bravery in advertising to do what he does
best: inject levity into a sea of seriousness. In
closing remarks every bit as irreverent as his death
to TV advertising eulogy two years ago, Graf chalked
up fear of bravery to one thing: losing money.
Billed as tips on how to be brave, the rapid-fire,
mini-speech skewered a litany of sacred cows in
advertising. Graf’s words were interrupted just once
—by the roar of laughter from a packed hall at the
Times Center for the 2014 CLIO AWARDS, a week long celebration to appreciate bright ideas in advertising in New york.
“The reason why people don’t take chances is
because they’re afraid, right? And what are they
afraid of? They’re afraid of losing their jobs. That’s
why people are not brave in our industry. So,
they’re afraid of not having money,” Graf began,
somewhat seriously. “I would remove fear from the
equation, and I have some suggestions for both
clients and agency people.
“Keep the overhead low. Don’t get married. Don’t
have children. Have no dependents. Avoid second
mortgages. Try to pay everything in cash.
“Follow the lead of Steve Jobs and stay unmarried
for as long as possible, so you can spend all your
time at work,” Graf added, helpfully. “Don’t buy a
boat. Move to Queens. If you are married, do not get
divorced. Love your spouse with all your heart and
make sure they love you because one, love is good
and everything, and two, nothing kills a creative
career like divorce.”
Barely taking a breath, Graf moved in for the close.
“Alimony can make you stay at horrible jobs,” he
said plainly to knowing laughter and applause. “If
you have your own company and you get divorced,
you can lose half of that, right? So, love, love, love.
And if you have kids, you can ignore them until
they’re about 5; they won’t remember.”
Graf’s pay off for the night was.”work hard during that stretch and remember, public schools are fine.
So, here’s to love and here’s to bravery.”

Jerry Seinfield whose annual earning stands at a whooping $297M annually has starred in my TV series and also hosted alot of TV shows.

Aloe Blacc performed “am the man” at the event.

credit: Tim Nodd/adweek , jerry’s bio via wikipedia

compiled, edited & posted by: @djshyluckjimmy.

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